Bitterness In Relations   

There was a time in the past when people use to live together in a joint family,laugh together,cry together,having fun together but now a days people don't wanna do this.They think that staying away from the relatives is the only way to live in peace.They don't allow them to say anything regarding their matters and as a result a kind of bitterness has come in their relation.      

I want to share one of my observation here.Few days ago one of my next door neighbours came to me and said"what my sisters did deserves that i never speak to them again.for many reasons,she has completely boycotted her sisters.such situations are becoming common in every other family these days.

Although Islam gives great importance of maintaining close ties with relatives and warns of severe punishment for those who don't have this.Islamic scholars state that "A Muslim is not allowed to cut off relations even under extreme circumstances,such as when the relatives are disbelievers or sinners".But despite of all this cutting ties with each other has become a common practice in our society.

Why all is this happening,there are lots of reasons of it.

one of the reason is that we take it for granted that our relatives owe us a lot and are more aware of our rights upon them than our responsibility towards them.Perhaps the greatest factor for cutting ties and failing relationships is the failure to forgive and forget.We never  give people the benefits of doubt but give only ourselves.Over the past years,the nuclear family has emerged and joint families are slowly becoming a thing of the past.People would rather spend  weekends with their friends and family commitments have become a burden.The practice of elders resolving family disputes is also becoming extinct.Blame game is also a reason,we fail to realize that each one of us is responsible for our actions and that we always have a choice in a situation to react positively and negatively.                                

 When we act kindly,Our instant mistake is that we start expecting good in return from the same person.Replacing bad treatment with good is what is actually required.But some people think the other way round.they say"I m not a hypocrite.I cant be nice to someone i don't like".There is a difference between hypocrisy and courtesy.when we are meeting someone nicely but with ill intention of causing harm to that person,it is called hypocrisy.But if we are being courteous to someone without having ill intention its called courtesy.we should be courteous with our relatives even then we don't like them in that case either.  

                                                                                                                         
  These are only the problems,now what could be the solution of it?when a problems occurs,the instant reaction is to break off and run.Escaping from uncomfortable relationships is always easier than resolving issues.

First we need to keep in touch with our relatives talking them on phone ,paying them visits,inviting them at your place, sending occasional gifts,should keep maintaining some form of contact on daily basis would be helpful in creating better relations with each other.Need to follow the policy of forget and forgive.If you don't like any thing of any one should inform them.Don't expect too much, if  you are doing good for them should not expect the same from them.The most important thing avoid blame game.Just try to resolve your issues while sitting together.Give space and respect to them.So try to create good relations with them rather than cutting ties,its not that much difficult.By  doing all these efforts you will be able to get them back.